"Not Me Monday"

Happy Monday everyone....here we go....

Since I am such an eloquent speaker, it was NOT ME who said to Michael, "Do you need a pillow?" before he walked to his car in the rain. I NEVER confuse words like that, nope, not me!

It was NOT ME who broke a wine glass on the floor after unloading the dishwasher. The glass DID NOT shatter into multiple tiny pieces across the hardwoods.

I DID NOT grab the red hot handle of a pan with my bare hands. I DID NOT immediately drop that pan on the floor after my palm was singed. This WAS NOT that same pan I previously gave Michael an oven mitt for because it was too hot to grab. I have better sense than to do that, so therefore, it was NOT ME.

It was NOT ME who found a slimy slug stuck to our white comforter. I'm sure it DID NOT get there from our crazy dog who runs wild through the woods, wallers in mud, and kills things with his neck, then sleeps in the bed with us. No way.

I DID NOT ask a waitress if I could borrow one of her apron's to hide under so I could nurse Avery at the outside cafe. I'm too modest to do that and would rather have Avery starve than to put myself in an awkward situation like that.

I DID NOT allow my mom to let Avery use a Special K bar to teethe on. We DID NOT use this 'teething toy' to entice Avery to look at the camera.

It was NOT ME who put Avery in a laundry basket while I folded clothes just so I could keep an eye on her.

It also was NOT ME who slept on the backseat while Avery took over the wheel on our trip to Macon. Nope, not me!!