Wednesday, January 11, 2012

According to Avery

My daughter says some of the funniest things.  I wish I wrote down every single thing she's said lately because I know I can't remember all of them.  The cutest part about it is how she says it...with her funny expressions and serious tone.  Just imagine a 2-year-old saying all of this with a straight face and as serious as can be:)

(Warning...most of this involves pooting or poo, because it's funny...and reality.)

She passed gas and I said, "Avery...what was that? There's a frog in your diaper!"  She said, "No, it's a poot in my diaper".

When in the food court at the mall, she pooted. I said, "Avery, you shouldn't poot in public."  She told me, "No I didn't poot in public, I poot in mall."

The other morning she was sitting in her high chair waiting on me to fix her breakfast, and said, "Uh oh mommy.  I smell poo-poo from my breaff". First lesson on morning breath...learned.


Around Christmas time she was learning about Jesus, baby Jesus, and how it was his birthday.  She poked her belly out and told me, "I have baby Jesus in my bellll-yyyyy".

She will ask either Michael or me, "Will you marry me?"  Then she puckers up and gives us a sweet kiss and yells, "Yaaaay! We're marrrieeed!!"

While holding her Cinderella princess doll, she kissed her and said, "I lubz (love) her.  That makes my heart all better."

I told her, "You're so cute I could just eat you up!"  She replied, "No, you already had chicken nuggets!"

When I put her socks on, I pretend to eat her toes so she has to hurry up to put on her socks.  She tries to distract me from eating her toes by offering alternative options.  She holds out her hand and says, "Here's a strawberry, mama.  Eat this banna (banana)."

Every time I tell her, "You're my sweet baby." Her immediate response is, "No, I'm a princesssss!" (And she believes it, too!)

I take her picture so often, she is now posing for my pictures without me telling her.  This week she said, "Make sure the flash is on!"

When she gets excited about telling me something, she starts to stutter and can't get out what she's thinking.  It sounds like, "Uhh, Mama, Mama, Uhhhh, Ma, Mee, Mama, Uhhhhh....I love you." haha.

She loves dressing up as princesses and lately, her choice of dress is Belle's.  She's been watching some Beauty and The Beast DVD's and gets a little creative.  She tells me, "I be Belle, you be Beast.  Oh Beast...Beast? Where's Beast? I can't find him anywhere!"  When she finds me, I roar and say, "Belle! Roar!" Then she walks toward me as slow as Christmas, while fluttering her eyelashes so much she looks like she's having a seizure, and tilts her head to the side waiting on me to compliment her.

After playing Beauty and The Beast for 30 minutes, she had to use the potty.  I heard her walk into the living room and she said, "Beast? Beast!  I poo poo and pee pee in the potty. Come see." I'm pretty sure  no princess ever bragged or showed off her bodily wastes to the prince...even if it was a Beast!

Every day she keeps me laughing with the things she says...and makes my days as a stay-at-home mommy so enjoyable! 






Tuesday, January 3, 2012

You might be a mother if...

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* You have to change diapers, fix chocolate milk, make oatmeal, and turn the TV onto "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" before you get your morning pee.
YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* It's two o'clock in the afternoon and you still haven't brushed your teeth...or gotten out of your pajamas.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* It's been three days since you took a legitimate shower, because during nap time you would rather clean the house, fold clothes, or sit on the computer and waste time on Facebook.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* You are the last person to sit down at the dinner table because you are waiting on everyone else.  You might also be a mother if you can't begin and end an entire meal without feeding another person, spanking another person, or making a trip to the bathroom for another person.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* Having a regular conversation about poop, pee-pee, private parts, booties, and boogers are a daily (no hourly) occurrence.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* You can't sit on the toilet without someone following you into the bathroom...or staring between your legs to see what surprise is in the toilet.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
* Bribing has become your best friend, and white lies aren't a sin as long as it gets your child to eat their dinner.
YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You don't think twice about wiping poop off of someone else's be-hind!

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You get really excited about picking a tricky booger out of someone else's nose.  It's like a small accomplishment on your part:)

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Lying on the couch, watching your favorite show, snacking on your favorite treat, without interruption....is just a fairytale you dream about.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your body is no longer yours.  It's a feeding machine, jungle gym, mode of transportation, pillow, or bed.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*The last time you watched Grey's Anatomy was when George was still alive, but you know what Phineas and Ferb are up to.

BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You love a person more than yourself, so much you would DIE to prevent any pain on their part.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You long to have free time away from your child, but when you do get it...you can't stop thinking about them and can't wait to see them again.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*The greatest joy in the earthly world is hearing your own child say, "I love you, Mommy."

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your favorite thing to do is kiss all over your child

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You will never be able to fall asleep until you know 100% your child is already sleeping.

YOU MIGHT BE MOTHER IF...
*The cry from your baby is recognizable in a crowded room full of other crying babies.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*The sound of your child laughing is the most joyful noise to your ears.
YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your child is the most beautiful kid God ever created....and seriously...they are! ;)

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your entire world has been turned upside down and you suddenly forgot about your needs, and all you care about is what your child needs.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your kisses alone can heal a 'boo-boo'.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*Your touch and embrace alone can calm a crying baby.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*The realization that all that petty stuff before: like the clothes, the job, the status, the ring, the house....doesn't really matter all that much anymore.

YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER IF...
*You finally understand the love God has for us as his children, because you certainly know you would sacrifice anything for your own child.

YEP, YOU MIGHT BE A MOTHER:)