This is NOT because I just keep forgetting to jot down notes as the week goes on about all of my newsworthy mishaps.
I DID NOT just confess to you that I keep a list of "Not Me" moments so I can share them with you every Monday.
I WILL....however share some moments from the past month......
I DO NOT ever poor a glass of wine and put it in the freezer for a quick chill. I DID NOT put a glass in the door of the freezer, NOR DID I swing the door open 15 minutes later only to have the wine spill and splash all over me and the floor.
It was NOT ME who cleaned Avery's nose with my bare fingers, and then wiped the remains under the fold of her elastic at the top of her pants. I DID NOT justify this by saying she was about to take a bath anyway.
I DID NOT walk into the house yesterday from church only to smell what seemed like dog 'poo' lingering in the air. That dog poo WAS NOT right smack-dab in the middle of Avery's bedroom floor.
I DID NOT take a picture of it with my cell phone and send it to my husband who was at the NASCAR race, just so he could see what he was missing.
It's only fair, because he DID NOT interrupt my girl's night at the movies with a picture text of Avery's dirty diaper that he had to change.
On that note, I DO NOT change Avery's diaper in the car with her standing up in the driver's seat, holding onto the steering wheel. I also NEVER take pictures of her naked bottom and send them to her daddy.
It is NOT ME who eats Avery's Gerber Yogart Melts every time I open the pantry.
***I'll try to do a better job of keeping track of my "Not Me" moments so you can feel better about yourself every Monday ;)