It's 2:00 p.m. on a rainy Monday and I'm NOT still in just my husband's bath robe because I've been uploading and editing pictures all morning long.
My laundry is NOT piled up in various places around my house while I'm NOT still in my bathrobe, on the computer.
Speaking of laundry...a pile of CLEAN clothes are NOT still sitting in a chair, unfolded, in our bedroom since last Friday...10 days ago!
On the way home from cheerleading practice, I DID NOT realize Avery wasn't buckled in her car seat, and instead just sitting there pleasantly playing with her toys. I DID NOT just pray that God would keep us safe the rest of the way home instead of pulling over 3 minutes from home and buckling her in.
I DID NOT just get up and leave this post to the sound of my dog chewing up one of Avery's toys. This WAS NOT the same dog who demolished one of Avery's pacifiers in the backyard.
My husband DID NOT dry Avery's clean body off with a towel that I had used as a play mat for an entire week...on the ground.
This past Friday, I DID NOT ignore 4 phone calls from my maid who wanted to come clean my house that morning, unannounced or unplanned. I would NEVER refuse the chance to get my house cleaned over a day of peace and quiet with my daughter without tiptoe-ing around the maid.
I DID NOT leave my straightening iron plugged in for half a day while I ran errands.
While shopping in the mall....I DID NOT make eye contact with the makeup salesman who has an independent stand in the middle of the mall. This was NOT the kind of salesman everyone should avoid at all cost because they hassle you to buy their product. I WAS NOT sucked into looking at their eyeshadows and getting them tested on my hand. This DID NOT escalate into a sit down on their stool to have my face cleaned, moisturized, powdered, and then blushed by these men from "Ishreal". I DID NOT sit there for an entire hour just because it actually felt relaxing to get pampered by someone else, even if they did talk so fast I couldn't understand a word they said. I DID NOT make them mad by not buying their $175 make up kit!
Because I AM NOT obsessed with taking pictures of Avery, I DID NOT pose her in front of some pumpkins at her displeasure just to get a cute Halloween picture.
She DID NOT fall face forward into the mulch, twice. Her daddy DID NOT laugh at her.
I DID NOT rummage around some back storage room at the pumpkin patch for a quiet place to feed Avery.
I DID NOT sit next to MICHAEL JACKSON'S SKELETON while feeding her, either.